I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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