I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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