Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
