I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
