i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
