It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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