honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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