After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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