Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
