she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
