dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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