marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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