the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
