You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
