Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
