that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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