I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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