Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
