How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
