his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
