Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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