i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Im part way to drunk.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
