I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
