garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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