The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Randomize
