i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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