Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
