kristin has been a bad kristin
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
