Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
