So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
