It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
