at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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