I will die if light touches me.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
