You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Boobs are out for the taking
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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