what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
