her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
