so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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