I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
That accounts for only three of the penises
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
