Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
