I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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