Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm eating all of the evidence.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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