how can u be prego again
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
