i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
