do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize