That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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