How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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