Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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