he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
