I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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