Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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