Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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