You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
