Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
