I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
