This girl is more easily done than said...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
