Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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