In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
