You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize